“Growing Tired and time stands still before me frozen here on the ladder of my life”
I found these words today when I was browsing through social media and this described how I have been feeling for the whole of lockdown till now, it felt as if the world had slowed down but I had completely stopped and even had the feeling of being stuck.
Could it be down to the feelings of shock, anger, disappointed at the situation I now find myself in, the feeling also of the “rug being pulled from underneath me”? Maybe…
I chatted to a very good client and friend yesterday who is one of the most positive and inspirational women I have ever met, she asked me how I felt. My description of myself was every day, feels like groundhog day. She laughed and asked me why and went on to ask what I had been doing since lockdown. We chatted about homeschooling which I must say I am finding very difficult, but when I look at this a bit deeper and being honest with myself is this because I am so used to doing what I want to do each day, working, relaxing for example, and now its been taken over by doing something that has always been alien even when I was at school Maths, English, Science….. This brings intense feelings of guilt that I am working on each day with myself.
I spoke about starting a Life Coaching Diploma, exercising more than ever, decorating which I had put off for such a long time, and a few other new projects. She laughed what are you complaining about, your keeping busy doing things you probably would never have done and spending time with your beautiful family, that is different every day and you should be grateful every day for these things.
This started to put everything in perspective for me and I woke up this morning ready to be grateful for everything in my life from here on in, no matter if it is homeschooling, decorating, exercising or even continued lockdown.
Sometimes you need someone or something to give you “a kick up the behind” and “see the wood for the trees” to pick you up and bring you back to the good stuff.
Thank you to my darling Joyce always a ray of sunshine.